[Fanfic] Grey Waves

Disclaimer: if you are nostalgic for the game, I mess up some plot points. It also could be a little violent to some....


Grey Waves
A Fire Emblem: Fates fanfiction


I gasp in shock as I watch the crimson magic slowly form in on itself. Several other people near the fountain are also exclaiming with wonder, some with fear, some with recognition. An indescribable feeling of pure evil overtakes me, and I stagger as raw emotions of rage, hatred, and jealousy sweep through me.
The bodyguards? Where are the bodyguards? Is one of the first coherent thoughts inside my head. The queen needs to be protected!
But everyone is mesmerised by the sight of the crimson magic. Even Mother.
I watch in growing horror as it forms into a large, humanoid creature, a dark sword materialising in its hands. Crimsons shards of what seemed to be blades also form and float around the figure. I take a step back in alarm as I realise the shards are pointing at me. The figure points the sword at me, and the shards shoot towards me.
I hold up my arms as if that could stop them, and squeeze my eyes shut.
A scream.
Not mine. I feel nothing. No pain.
I look up into the eyes of my mother. Loving. Sorrowful.
And in pain.
She had launched herself across the small place between her and I, making it there before the shards. She had saved me. At the expense of her own life.
She takes a deep, shuddering breath, before collapsing.
I catch her with a cry of dismay, seeing the multiple wounds. I know instantly that there is no healing her in time. She is going, and there is nothing I can do….
“My boy.” she whispers, reaching up fingers tipped with blood to my cheek, “My big, dragon boy. Save….the Hoshidan….save your people. Save….yourself….for I….”
Her hand falls, and her body grows limp.
I hear people lamenting, wailing, as they watch their queen die. Me? I kneel down, and lay the body of my mother gently on the floor. The crimson warrior has vanished.
A feeling of unfounded sorrow envelops me, and I start to weep silently. Followed by the sorrow, is anger. A need for revenge. Hatred. I can feel the magic within me reacting to my emotions.
“No!” Azura’s musical voice cries out, “Control yourself! There are too many people here!”
My only response is a scream of pure rage. “MOTHER!” I look down at my hands, and see the transformation process beginning. All my rage, hatred, converging into the will for power adequate enough to see people destroyed. The magic courses through me like a living tide of water.
And I don’t care.
I need power.
I need the strength my human form lacks.
I need the dragon.
“No!” Ryoma’s deep voice barely even reaches my ears. “Calm yourself!”
But I can’t. It’s too late. Within seconds, I have transformed into a dragon.
People scream. People run. Everyone around can feel my hatred and anger.
“Stay away from him!” someone warns, “He is not himself!”
I strike out, blinded by my own rage. I hit the fountain, sending stone and water everywhere. I whirl around, roaring in anger, dispensing water funnels like mad in every direction.
And then, I hear it.
The song.
Azura’s calm, infinitely beautiful voice.
You are the oceans grey waves,
It is meant to calm me. It calms all dragons.
But not me. I am too sorrowful, too full of hatred. The song only aggravates me, and I whirl around, angling my head down so I can stare at Azura threateningly.
“Azura, no!” Ryoma cries, and runs towards Azura.
I cause a water-funnel to form between him and Azura, sending my brother flying backwards until he landed awkwardly some distance away.
Azura kept walking slowly towards me, palms up in a peace gesture, still singing.
Destined to seek life beyond the shore, just out of reach.
She is so trusting. She also has no idea the inner torment going on within me. She wants that which is best for me, for everyone. I know this, and yet, my mind is still roaring, not letting me see reason. All I see is a beautiful, but vulnerable light-blue-haired girl trying to calm my screaming soul.
And a part of me does not want my soul to be calmed.
And so I strike her.
I lift one of my lance-like forelegs, and strike her on the shoulder.
I hear vaguely several people cry out in shock and disbelief. Azura crumples in a heap on the cobblestones.
I lift my head and roar.
Yet, I am stopped.
The song continues….
You are the ocean’s grey waves,
It is much quieter, more strained.
I look down in surprise.
Azura turns her head from her position, lying on the ground, and looks at me with those startling water-blue eyes. She tries to prop herself up, but fails with a small scream of anguish.
Still, the song continues, and this time, I feel it weaving within me, working its magic.
It is working. I feel my soul slowly letting go of all the anger and hatred within me.
Flowing like time. The path is yours to climb.
When she finishes, she looks at me again, having looked away while singing.
“Kill me if you will.” she says, her fragile voice wavering, but beset with determination. “But do it as yourself.”
I raise an arm, and am about to run her through.
But no.
How could I?
The answer: I simply could not.
I lower the arm, and hang my head, groaning, letting the magic of the song do its work. The transformation reverses, and soon I am on hands and knees next to her broken body on the cobblestones.
“You know….” I gasp, struggling for breath after the magic overload, “I….could never….”
She turns her head to look at me in the eyes. “Corrin.” she says quietly.
I crawl to her side, looping one arm under her legs, and the other around her shoulders. I lift her off the ground, and stand up slowly. She leans her head against my breast, smiling in that small, quiet way of hers.
“I’m so sorry.” I whisper, tears beginning to form in my eyes, “I didn’t want to hurt you. But I am merely human. Your thoughts could never entertain such an event; mine, however, know no boundaries. You are perfect, in every way. I am not so perfect. I am so sorry Azura!”
She tries to reply, but instead groans quietly, her eyes squeezing shut with pain. I turn around to see Ryoma hurrying towards me.
“The healers.” I breathe, “Where are they?”
“I’ll take her, brother. You rest. Stay calm.” Ryoma takes her gently from my arms.
Stay calm.
I can see fear in his eyes. Fear of what I did to Azura. Fear of what I could have done to Azura. Fear of what I could have become. Fear, of me.
I watch, deflated, as Ryoma and the rest of my step-siblings hurry into the distance, Sakura glancing over her shoulder fearfully at me.
Would they ever look at me the same again?
I look around me, seeing no one. The square is deserted. The only sounds are the trickle of the smashed fountain as water runs along the cobblestones in strange movements.
Probably reacting to what I had just done. And to Azura’s pain.
Azura’s pain.
I hurt her!
I struck Azura! My cousin! My sister in the Dragon Blood!
How could I have been such a monster?
She is of my blood, and I nearly killed her?
The utter rage of my transformation is also haunting me. If Azura hadn’t of been there, where would I have stopped?
The true answer pierces me like, at least I believe, nothing ever will.
Never.
I would never have stopped raging.
Yet she, that beautiful, beautiful girl, decided to walk towards a raging monster. To try to calm him.
Why?
Why had she risked so much for him? Why would she do that?
I remember every single moment. Often, when I transform, the memories do not often transition. But this time, they do. It is almost as if some unseen hand is prompting me.
Or warning me.
Or gloating me.
Or….
I look around me, suddenly remembering the cause of all this.
Her body is gone, of course. Of course, the people would have scooped up her body first thing when I transformed.
Her blood is being slowly washed away by the trickle from the broken fountain.
For once, I wonder what’s next. She was about to claim my heritage to her publicly. They would have seen me as a prince. Now?
A monster.
An unpredictable, rage-filled shapeshifter.
Is this what she wanted? For me to be feared by the people?
Wait….
Hoshido has no ruler. Not now. Who is next? Ryoma? Or, dare I think it, me? Who is older? Who is more capable?
Ryoma.
Definitely Ryoma.
Yes, crown the guy who can’t transform into a rage dragon.
You are the ocean’s grey waves….
The words of the song wash over me. Not literally, it’s just a memory. For some reason, the words seem to have more of an impact than I thought. I pondered them.
The dragon-from I can transform into is water based. I can shoot whirlwinds of air and water. I can shoot bursts of concentrated water at objects. Grey waves? Me, waves of the ocean?
Destined to seek life beyond the shore, just out of reach.
What does that mean? I presume the shore means the average person’s life, and I seek more? Maybe it means I even seek something beyond death.
Flowing like time, the path is yours to climb….
This part I understand with a certain frightening clarity. This is my path. No one else can be on it. No one else can live it. No one else can do what I can do to this world. No one can save it like I can. No one can break it like I can.
Mine to climb. All the sorrow, torment, grief, anger, love, hatred, all mine. ALL MINE!
This is my burden. This is my fate.
And I will take it.
Because it is mine.
I will carry it.
Because it is mine.
I will strengthen it with love, sorrow, and memory.
Because it is mine.
I will become what I need to become.
Because it is mine.
I will bear my dragon-curse.
Because it is mine.
I will bear Azura’s pain.
Because….well, it’s not mine, but you get the idea.
Thinking of her makes me worry. Is she alright? I hope I didn’t maim her for life. I hope she recovers soon.
I hear the crunch of a footstep behind me, and for one scary moment I think the crimson-warrior has returned. But I hear him clear his throat, and I suddenly know who it is.
I whirl around so suddenly he actually jumps back in alarm. “Is she -?”
Ryoma holds up a hand. “No. She is fine. Relatively.” he grunted, “The healers say her shoulder will take a long time to mend, as will her mind.”
“Her….mind?”
“She sang the song, Corrin. It always drains, the same way your transformation drains. One day, the song might even kill her.” he shakes his head, “The toll was catastrophic when combined with the pain you inflicted.”
I shudder. “I didn’t….wouldn’t….couldn’t….I had no idea….” I can barely put two words together, “Because of me?” I ask weakly, “I did all this to her! The song, the wound. She was singing for me. For me, Ryoma!”
He doesn’t deny.
“And I nearly killed her!” I shout. “How can she forgive me?”
“She already has.” he sighs.
I nearly faint from exhaustion and relief then and there. I sway on my two feet.
“Her first words. She asked for you, if you were alright, calmed, unhurt, human. Then she forgave you.” Ryoma takes a step closer, watching my reaction carefully.
Warily? It seems like something else but I cannot place it.
“If she can forgive you, she, a girl gifted with dragon-like abilities, so can I.” Ryoma says loudly.
“So can we all.” I notice vaguely that Ryoma has now been joined by Sakura, Takumi, and Hinoka. “This is the day our mother, the queen of Hoshido has died.” Sakura says, “But the day we are reunited with our long-lost brother, Corrin.” with this, she runs to me, embracing me fiercely.
“S-stay away.” I stammer, “You don’t know if I could -”
“I know.” she whispers, hugging tighter. “I know you would never.”
I accept her embrace timidly. “You don’t know that. I could just, do it. I don’t even know how it works yet. You could be putting yourself in danger.”
“Then let us all enter the danger.” Ryoma declares hotly, and joins us in an embrace.
Hinoka does the same, saying more or less what Sakura had said moments before. “We know you would never harm us.”
Takumi follows silently, but comforting.
A silence as we embrace.
Then,
“She died, protecting me!” I sob uncontrollably, “And I dishonoured her death by nearly killing an innocent being!”
“It’s okay.” Ryoma separates himself and his siblings from me, and takes me fiercely but gently by the shoulders with his strong hands. “This is what she would have wanted. All of us together, helping each other through the time of sorrow. What better way for a mother to die, than saving one of her children from death? Answer me that, Corrin.”
“There is no better death.” I whisper after a long time of silence. The truth is frightening, but it is what it is: truth. “There is no better death.” I repeat. “No better sacrifice. She loved. Help me to love.” I plead with them all. “Help me to be like her!”
Ryoma smiles. “With pleasure, brother! Now, I think Azura may want to speak with you. Make haste to the castle, for she is within.”
I nod, and hurry away. Before turning out of sight, I look back, and say, “Ryoma. Everyone. Thank you. And Ryoma. I do not care if I am older than you or not, you will be king. I do not care for such a life. Such a burden.” I look down at my hands. Human hands, shaking from the memory of being something else, “I could never….with this, I….”
Ryoma nods, relief filling his features. “We understand brother.” he says quietly, “We understand.”
I nod again, and hurry as fast as my broken body will let me to the castle gates.

I sit, holding her hand, for who knows how long. She lies there, her breathing in sometimes squeaking labour. Sometimes, she murmurs in her sleep. But I never let go. I will never let go.
Suddenly, I hear her voice. Soft, strained, beautiful as ever, even in her pain.
“Corrin.”
The way she says it. Not with pity, but with understanding.
“Azura, I -”
“Sh.” her eyes are still closed. How she knew I am the one holding her hand, I do not know. “Just be there.”
“Forgive me.” I whisper.
“Always.” is the reply.
We stay like this, again, for who knows how long. Healers come and go, checking on her, on others that are in the infirmary of the castle.
Eventually, I say, “You sang for me.” it was almost an accusation. “You could have died.”
“It was the least -” she begins.
“No!” I exclaim, “I could have killed you!”
“But you didn’t.”
“But I could have!”
She opens her eyes and looks at me. “But you didn’t.”she repeats. “You stopped yourself.”
“You stopped me.”
“No.” she shakes her head as vigorously as her pain allows her, “No. The magic only works if the receiver is willing. You pulled yourself back. That is why it didn’t work at first.”
“I’m a monster. A disaster waiting to be unleashed.”
“No!” she snaps, almost angry, “Never say that to yourself again, Corrin! The transformation is a gift, but it can be twisted into a curse, depending on how it’s used. Never say that again! Or you are as good as the monster you believe yourself to be. Never again, Corrin! You are my friend! Not a monster.”
“Then what am I, really, if not a monster in human form?” I ask, despairing.
“You are the oceans grey waves.” she whispered, “You look pleasing to the eye. You are wild. Your waves climb higher and higher. You are a roaring ocean. But I have seen the calm.”
Her analogy takes me by surprise, but it strikes me deeply. “And who are you, in my story, Azura? Who are you?”
“I am the shore.” she smiles at me.
The shore.
“Come, smile at me, Corrin. I would see that face happy. Please, too much sorrow, smile.”
I put on a weak one for her sake.
She tries to laugh, but ends up coughing recklessly.
Some healers bustle in and usher me out. As I am in the doorway, I turn. “Don’t forget this day, Azura.” I say weakly.
“How could I ever.” she breathes, “I will think of you forever, dear cousin, in my mind. Lost in thoughts all alone. Except I won’t be alone, because you will always be there, with me.”
I leave, feeling like I have never felt before.
Lost in thoughts all alone. Why does that seem so familiar?
Oh yeah. I laugh, despite myself.
It is the name of the song….






The End